Dragon In The Grass

There was a fair maiden walking in the wood
To any mind she was a pretty piece of goods
She spied a dragon lying in the grass
And she walked right up and she kicked him in the (hmmm)

"Well bless my soul." roared the dragon as he rose
"And why should you be wanting to disturb my repose?"
"I need your help," was the maiden's reply.
And she turned a little pale and she looked him in the eye.

"There's many a knight asking for my hand;
They've come for me from over the land.
My hand in marriage to the knight so brave
Who rescues me from the dragon's cave."

"This is all well and good," spoke the dragon so bold;
"But with what will you pay me, I've no use for gold."
"Why, anything at all," was the maiden's reply,
And she threw back her hair and she winked a pretty eye.

A short time later, a knight so brave
Rode up to the mouth of the dragon's cave.
He challenged the dragon with the point of his lance
"Just a minute," said the dragon, "I'll be putting on me pants."

The dragon charged up to the trembling knight
Stopped and then whispered, "We don't have to fight.
I'll roar and you clash your lance on your shield,
'Cause if we do battle someone's going to get killed."

The much-relieved knight did what he was told,
And the drahgon roared out to make your blood run cold.
Then the knight gave his shield a mighty whack
And the dragon roared once more and rolled on his back.

The princess saw the knight wasn't hurt
So she drew a dagger from under her skirt
And approaching the dragon with stealth and art
She stabbed the dragon right through the heart.

The moral of this story is plain to see,
But for those of you with more density:
Double-cross a princess and you'll be outclassed
Just like the dragon lying in the grass.